99 Shop a wide selection of designs or personalized a pack with monogram lettering, a favorite saying or artwork. Today, they called it golf. Can Dirty talk increase sexual pleasure? “Your stance is far too wide.”. Sunday Service “Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church.” —brockoli117 on Reddit.com History buffs will love these funny history jokes. Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five. Bob then reaches into his golf bag and pulls out a small blue Genie.John is pretty impressed. ———-Missing ball. ———-Golf brings out 3 year old in us – we struggle to count past 5 ———- now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); “Where did you get such big lighter?”“I got it from my Genie” says Bob. Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management. 5. Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings. Get in the hole! Bob Hope Sayings on the Game. This goes on for the remainder of the week with Clare winning every round of golf. A lady is setting off to have a round of golf after a series of lessons with the club pro. 2. My shaft is bent. 2. Right Golf Balls. Nuts! 58. Damn, my shaft's all bent. When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. On the drive home, Clare again shows John her appreciation through oral sex. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. This is a game of misses. I've got to wash my balls. 7. Shanker Golf Balls - Rude Trick Balls with Funny Sayings (Sleeve of 3, Novelty Gag, Playing Quality) - The #1 Ball for The Shittest Golfers - 2nd Edition 4.6 out of 5 stars 79 $14.99 $ 14 . 3. Dirty Golf Sayings. -- Winston Churchill "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf." And these dirty double meaning phrases (which we recommend only sharing with a partner who can’t dump you on the spot) are just too good to give up. I should have told you” Bob says. In fact at the end of 18 holes, she beats John by 4 shots. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. I am a golfing addict and every chance I get I’m going to go and have a round.”“OK” said his wife. “My genie is hard of hearing. ———-The best way to reduce shots on the score card is with an eraser. 2. Angry with Clare’s admission, he turns to Clare “You f*@king cheat. If you are looking for a funny golf gift for a friend or relative, here’s our top picks in a bunch of different gift categories. What is the difference between golf and sex?A bad hole won’t get you a slap across the face when you play golf. As they are retreating to the bedroom for the first night madness, the husband looks deeply into his wife’s eyes.“Honey, I’ve got something to tell you. John thinks about it for a moment then says “I wish for 5 million bucks”. John being a complete gentlemen offers Clare a lift home to which she accepts. Wells “Golf always makes me so damned angry.” —King George V. Golf Sayings “Golf is a … Keep your head down. A couple have just gotten married. For shorter gags, here’s our Golfing one liners. 2. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. 4. What is the easiest way to tell a golfer is cheating on his wife?He continually puts his driver in the wrong bag. Golf Balls. "Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture." Ace: Hitting the ball into the hole in one swing of the club. What does masturbation and 4 putting have in common?Even though you’re a little ashamed of what you have done, you know you will do it again. The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. Bob Hope; If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. -Lee Trevino "Golf is my profession. 6. The sex is the same as always but the dishes are starting to pile up”. 59. Dirty talks allow the body to come to terms with one’s thoughts, imagination, and hearing hence a more erotic experience. Dirty Golf Sayings.....? Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh. Try choking donw on the shaft. 10. Brand new golf balls are attracted to water, and the power of the attraction is in direct proportion to how much the balls cost. “I’m not too sure. My shaft is bent. 4. I'm pretty good with my short putts. Isn’t it obvious whether or not she is still alive”.“Well” said Bob. In this post, we are going to share with you 65+ Golf slogans, chants & one-liners. Lift your head and spread your legs. More jokes pages will be added over the coming months if you like this style of humor. On the drive home on Friday, she says to John “John, I’ve got something I need to tell you. Get in the hole! You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. John says to the Genie “Hey Genie, as I’m such a good friend of your master Bob, will you grant me a wish”.“Sure will” says the Genie. Things You Won’t Hear Women Say About Golf Ladies Foursome Helpful Guide to Female Golfing Terms The Lady’s Tee Ladies Tea Women Golf Jokes! After 18 holes I can barely walk. 23 Comments. © John recently changed jobs and starts working a night shift. How many strokes was that? Dirty Sayings Golf Balls are great gifts for friends and coworkers. If you find these a bit rude for your taste, check out our funny golf jokes here which are cleaner and suitable for all ages. I haven’t been completely honest – I’m a transvestite”. High quality Dirty Sayings gifts and merchandise. Enjoy! I haven’t been completely honest. 8. 7. “And we were taught to play golf. Just ask my ex -wives. The 32 most dirty quotes and sexy quotes of the past in one list with funny, dirty and sexy pictures. Copy. Amazon, the Amazon logo, are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. Got a friend who needs a laugh? What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough?Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. “Sorry. Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time, it's distracting! 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.” – Gerald Ford” “Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In Golf Nuts….my shaft is bent. On the first round on Monday morning, he catches up with a stunning brunette after the first 5 holes also having a round by herself. “As we are confessing, I haven’t been completely honest with you either. John being keen for a smoke asks Bob for a lighter.Bob pulls out a large BIC cigarette lighter about 12 inches long. Long ago when women cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. I May Not Be Mr. Golf epitomizes the tame world. I’d like to show you my appreciation.” “Sure” says John. 4. Just turn your back and drop it. 5. Dirty Cart. “You’ve just got to make sure you keep left arm straight and your head down longer.”. Taking advantage of the late start, he decides to fit in a round of golf every morning before work. So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. 1. 1. A couple have just gotten married. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, humor. Bob and John are having a round of golf. After 18 holes I can barely walk You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. The lady replied “Between the first and second hole”“Ah”, said the golf pro as he nods. I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. Hold up. It’s almost a law.” —H.G. 4. Dirty Sexy Quotes, Sayings and Images. Clare then reaches between his legs, unzips his fly and performs oral sex on him on the drive home.Tuesday morning comes along, again they play a round in the morning and again Clare wins by a couple of strokes. 6. -- Jack Benny "You can make a lot of money in this game. Please Share Us! Afraid of The Dark: When the putted ball refuses to fall into the hole. Look at the size of his putter. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. Not for the easily offended, this selection of Dirty Golf Jokes are for adults only and are sure to get a laugh. 3. 3. Home » Browse Quotes By Subject » Funny Golf Quotes Quotes. 9. 1. Dirty Golf Sayings Jokes. Spread your legs a little more. Otherwise, If you’ve enjoyed these dirty golf jokes, check out our clean golf jokes here! Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. For shorter gags, here’s our Golfing one liners. The best way to get better at golf it to take it up earlier in life ———-Improve your golf game by practice, lessons or cheating. "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." Copy. Sponsored Links ∇ Amusing Things You Will Never Hear a Woman … Funny Golf Jokes for Women Read More » Are you looking for Golf slogans, phrases & one-liners? My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. He decides to test if he can get any wishes granted. “What’s wrong” says the golf pro realising she’d only been gone a short time. Is everything alright at home”“Not really” says Bob. Damn, my shaft's all bent. What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough? ———-Golf addiction. A. Or here’s our top Golfing one liner jokes. Explore 708 Dirty Quotes by authors including George Bernard Shaw, Mahatma Gandhi, and James Dobson at BrainyQuote. If a bird sh*ts on your golf cart, don’t ever take her golfing again. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." Show the world how much you love this sport or express your feelings using these slogans. On a golf course nature is neutered. 60. Caddie: This isn't a watch, sir, it's a compass. We have a threesome, care to join us? Nuts! “Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.” —William Wordsworth “The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. 15 minutes after leaving the clubhouse, she returns looking a little flustered and upset. Golf is what you play when you're too out of shape to play softball. On the drive home, Clare says “You know John, I really appreciate you inviting me to play golf with you. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing “you are too close to the ball.” “I think my wife Beryl might be dead”.“What do you mean you ‘think’ she’s dead. If a bird sh*ts on your golf cart, don’t ever take her golfing again. 3. funny golf gift for a friend or relative, here’s our top picks. John and the stunning brunette Clare decide to play against each other for the rest of the course.Clare is having a pretty good round. “This is the most enjoyable round of golf I have ever played” says Clare. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. Our golf ball packs come with 3 novelty balls. 2. Giphy. The guy who misses the best is going to win. 4. It bends a little to the left. “A” Game: A golfer’s best game which is executed on a regular basis. Stand with your back turned and drop it. John and Bob were two of the bitterest rivals at … -Bob Hope Dirty talk helps arouse and stimulate particular senses that are sometimes overlooked during sex. 1. Airmail: A golf shot which travels a considerably longer distance than planned. Damn, I missed the hole again. 6. Bob and John have just finished an arduous round of Golf.“Bob” says John, “you didn’t seem the same on the course today. 2. Aug 3, 2019 - Explore Nicole Garner's board "Golf sayings", followed by 119 people on Pinterest. 3. “I’ve been stung be a bee” she said.“Where did it sting you” asked the pro. You didn’t think I asked for a 12 inch BIC did you?”, What is the similarity between golf and sex?Even though you are really bad at both of them, you know you will still enjoy it.¬. Golfpranks.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: “your standing too close the ball”. “Wow”, says John. Inspired designs on t-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more by independent artists and designers from around the world. I’m a hooker”.“That’s OK” said the husband. After 18 holes I can barely walk. Nothing happens for the first half a minute then all of a sudden the sky becomes filled with millions of ducks.“I said bucks not ducks” said John. Look at the size of his putter. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. Apr 23, 2017 - Find the best golf humor and cartoons on this board by www.GolfBallsUnlimited.com. You’ve been hitting off the ladies tee all week”. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. You need to adjust your grip. Feel free […] Look at the size of his putter. Mind if I join your threesome? See more ideas about golf quotes, golf humor, golf. 5. You can also support your favorite player using these slogans & lines. John slams on the brakes and veers violently off the road screeching to a holt on the side of the road. After 18 holes I can barely walk. Golf Funny Sayings | Golf Lessons […] 20 Funny Golf Sayings and Inspirational Golf Quotes – Haggin Oaks – Here is a collection of 20 golf quotes – some are inspirational and others are golf sayings that will hopefully bring a smile to your face. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't: 10. 9. Look at the size of his putter. John agreed so they decide to play against each other every morning for the rest of the week. I have collected 45 dirty talk examples and quotes to get some inspiration for the erotic and naughty talks. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
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